Tongue Lashing

I am NOT easy to live with. I’ve a very contrary personality. I’m critical but not confrontational.  No one knows me as well as I know myself! I need to bite my tongue more but never learned how to do that well. Yesterday I blew my stack when the Mister made a mistake when he was only trying to help. Actually he has taken over some of the actions that I have done for years and it is hard for me to accept his help. I realize that he has undertaken chores willingly but it is very difficult for me to give them up. Does this make sense? 

What he did was to fill the old red pump container on the kitchen sink that I use to hold dishwashing liquid, Dawn. I guess that he had never done that routine before. The problem was that he refilled it when it got low, with Tide. When I saw him putting the Tide container away I asked him what he was washing. His reply was, “Nothing, I’m only refilling the red pump container.” WHAT??????  I went into scolding and ranting about how stupid that was and didn’t he know the difference between them? His reply, “They’re both blue.” WHAT????? On and on I went. Shame on me.  Apology made today.

Could YOU live with me? I don’t think so. I have OCPD - not true OCD. It is a personality disorder. I don’t flick switches on and off a dozen times before leaving the room and have no special rituals or procedures. What I do, if I can, is keep everything in my surroundings square, level, or in the position that I deem it must be kept. Every thing in my surroundings must be balanced. Everything is placed logically - to me. Everything must be put away after use; a neat freak. The organization of placement is important. Well I can’t help it. It is my nature. Don’t even think of hanging or folding my laundry or putting it away, please.

I try very hard, believe it or not, to stay quiet when I see the salt shaker being refilled over the counter and not over the sink. It is hard to overlook the way the dishes are stacked in the drainer when washed. I like it that he washes dishes and don’t want him to quit that duty. 

There is so much more that is important than being so critical. We still always say “thank-you” and “you’re welcome,” “please” and  “excuse me” and are usually polite, but then I go on a dress down and forget to be considerate. It doesn’t matter to me one little bit how others keep their indoor environments, I can visit a friend and see their “messes” but am completely comfortable there. It’s my own that has me trapped into my customs. 

My dad once told the Mister that when my mom criticized him for something, he learned how to let it go in one ear and out the other. The Mister almost has this perfected - almost.