Think About It...

I stole this...

Too good not to share!   https://www.facebook.com/TheOliViral

"A friend posted this writing today and it struck me that someday EVERYONE will go thru this discarding of “things” that are the memories of one’s life. Sometimes it’s our own and more often it’s the life of someone we love…..

When my mom was cleaning out her house over 23 years ago to sell it, I wasn't very sympathetic over her attachments to things. I would go over on weekends to help her and we would go through things, things for a yard sale, things to donate, things to throw away. I would usually get upset over how long it was taking her to decide. For instance, we were going through kitchen cabinets and she spent 20 minutes looking at an iron kettle with a lid. Finally I said,

“Mom, at this rate it is going to take us another 2 years.”

She told me that her mother used to make meals in that kettle and leave them at doorsteps of neighbors during the depression, mom would deliver them, and then they would reappear back to her with an apron, or a wood carving, something in return for the meal. I realized that everything that my mom was going through was really a reliving of her life.

If you are reading this and are under the age of 60, you wont get it. You haven't lived long enough. Most of you have not had to move your parents into a nursing home, or emptied their home. You haven't lived long enough to realize that the hours you spend picking out the right cabinets, or the perfect tile will not be what matters in the later years. It will be the handmade toothbrush holder, or a picture that you got on vacation.

So, if your parents are downsizing, and moving to smaller places, or selling a home, give your mom and even your dad a break. Those things that you don't understand why they can’t just pitch, and why you think you know what needs to be tossed or saved, give them a little time to make their decisions. They are saying goodbye to their past, and realizing that they are getting ready for their end of life, while you are beginning your life.

As I have been going through things, its amazing just how hard it is to get rid of objects. But, life goes on, and you realize they are just things, but sometimes things comfort us. So give your parents or grandparents a break. Listen to their stories, because in 40 years, when you are going through those boxes and the memories come back, it will be hard to get rid of those plastic champagne flutes that you and your late husband used at a New Years party 40 years ago. You will think nothing of the tile or the light fixtures that were so important then.

As happy as they are for you, and as much as they love you, you just don't have a clue until it happens to you and then you will remember how you rushed them, and it will make you sad, especially if they are already gone and you can't say I’m sorry, I didn’t get it."

A few of mine!

Aging...

They say "Age is just a number." I say, "Baloney!" Everyone is different. We all have diverse strengths and weaknesses. We all have  varied health concerns.  In my opinion, it is NOT all in attitude and positive thinking, either. Some consideration must be given to the genes; some to the the lifestyle. There are tons of factors as to how we feel, how we act, how we cope. Currently age has crept up on us both, but in different ways. 

Right now we just want to feel safe, comfortable, as independent and self-sufficient as possible, and able to meet our ever-changing needs. There is so much that we were able to do in the past that we are now not able to do - at all! That is frustrating. We have finally come to the conclusion that we need helpers. 

When we were younger, for some unknown reason we were not at all savvy enough to consider the importance of hearing aids, eyeglasses. dental needs, and contraptions to help with all other physical situations. There was no organization or preparation of finances for future needs. Heck, it was all we ever could do to pay bills, but we are totally debt free and are able to keep up with these today. So far... We don't have many other options but to live one day at a time. 

We've had a busy past with many enjoyable times and those will always remain in our memory. Some don't have even that. No negatives are going to spoil all of our positives!! Carrying on......

Toddle Talk

Last night as I went from the front of the fireplace where the propane gas heater was going strong, heading for my bedroom, the thought came that I was toddling off to a warm bed. I concluded  I was at that moment; an elderly woman toddling. It is just a casual and leisurely way of going forward.  I see the picture, do you?

All I can add is, if you think when you see me toddle around you haven't even seen a toddle until you have watched the Mister!

Seriously, I cannot run or even trot and am VERY careful not to fall, but I'm thankful that I am able to get around independently. Trying to stay positive isn't difficult for me as it is my way of getting through life.

I'll just toddle on until the toddler wears out. The waddle probably won't function either. Oh well.....

How it Really is...

Subject: Aging

     Let me introduce you to the life of a couple, both age 81+. The couple has been married for 56 years. There are unspoken rules and chores that developed slowly to be their way of life. They have their routines.
     They sleep in separate beds and have for over 20 years. She snores, tosses and turns, he passes gas and it wasn't a good way for peaceful sleep. She likes covers at all times, he doesn't want any sometimes. He gets up several times a night for trips to the bathroom. She never does. They both make their own beds and help each other in the changing of the bed sheets. The bathroom is a private place. It is cleaned by her every week.
     The night before each morning she prepares the coffee pot so all he has to do is plug it in.  The dinner dishes are washed by him and the cleanup is his. She puts them all away the next morning. She prepares all meals except Sunday morning when he cooks his bacon, eggs and toasts the English muffin. He eats cold cereal every other morning and she eats cereal or yoghurt every morning, or just a banana.
     He retrieves the mail and goes through it while she prepares lunch and he waits. The telephone is unplugged so it won't ring during lunch or their following naps; his in the recliner, hers on his bed because she can sprawl. (Her bed is twin size.) She does all record-keeping and filing. She does most of the telephone calls. Appointments for generator, propane heater and other home service needs are made by her. He writes the checks for the bills. He controls the thermostat on both the AC and the propane gas heater. He empties the dehumidifier. He burns the papers and takes out the trash for pickup.
     He does all of the vacuuming and window washing. There are 12 windows, each having 6 panes and a storm window. The 13th window contains the air conditioner. He is the "gofer" when a trip to town is necessary for items such as milk, beer, vodka, or hardware. She sorts the laundry and he loads the baskets in the car. He takes them into the town laundromat and she washes, dries and folds while he returns home. After 1 1/2 hours, he returns to reload the basket and bring it into the home. She puts it all away.
     She does all of the baking, freezing and dehydration of fruits and vegetables. She prepares all meats and fish before roasting, etc. He services and maintains all motorized equipment and tools. They each do a little work in the flowerbeds but a lawn care business does the grass mowing and weed whacking. A hired man cleans the gutters, rakes the property in both the spring and autumn and does general yard cleanup. Interior high beam cleaning is done by a professional.
      Together they cover the porch furniture for winter storage and then prepare the porch for summer in the spring. Together they move household furniture to clean and dust. Together they go grocery shopping. He loads the reusable filled bags into the shopping carts and he loads them into the car and then into the home. She puts it away.
     She rolls the pennies, nickels and dimes and he cashes them in at the bank. Quarters are saved for the laundromat. They never have fought about finances and both are considered frugal, to a fault. The dentist appointments are made back to back twice a year. The doctor appointments are individual and each attends to his/her own.
     Each one has physical limitations. Some are not age related. Old injuries and surgeries have left their marks. Each does a lot of sitting - he in a recliner watching TV, mostly car racing and cop shows. They both watch nature shows. She likes detective shows. She reads and is on her laptop computer for several hours a day. He putters in the outdoor shed and she often does crafts at the kitchen table.
     Mornings start around 6:15am for him and 7am for her. Bedtimes are usually 10pm for him and 9:30 pm for her. Each morning they greet each other with a "Good Morning" and each evening "Good Night."
   Privately thinking, she sometimes wishes her parents had told her how it really is to become old. She has decided not to tell her children about it either. It is a fact of life and each one experiences it differently. Besides that, it is negative to really describe the true trials and tribulations. "Oh my aching back" will have to suffice. A common question is  "Have you seen my eyeglasses anywhere?" AND...our mantra is "I WILL NOT FALL!"

This Old Couch is Pretty

Well....The old porch swing couch is back in full regalia. You might ask: "Why did you choose that old fashioned print and those those awful colors and vinyl?

Here's my story. I have reasons. I love the color orange. Think on it for a minute. Orange marigolds and lilies are simple country-type blooms; carrots are my favorite vegetable and pumpkins make good pies. I've grown all.

Brown is the color of my home's walls. The soil and tree trunks are brown. Well, in my world they are. Homey eggs here are brown. My dad's, husband's, and son's eyes are brown. A daughter's eyes are brown. Brown was the color of my favorite horse - ever!

Green is grass - of course it is mostly green. Outdoor nature comes in all shades of green, even moss and fern shades! Split pea soup has the exact color of green that is in the fabric and we LOVE homemade split pea soup. Not too many people make it anymore.

Autumn leaves are orange, brown and green and so are some flowers. These are the colors that make me feel comfortable. 

And..... the printed vinyl upholstery on the swing cushions suits my eye. (It was also the only vinyl upholstery in a print that my friend who did the fine work had!) It was meant for me! 

At first I wasn't going to have vinyl but when I saw the print, I chose it, not knowing it wasn't cloth. It has texture! It won't stick to bare legs! I changed my mind. I'm happy now.

Before! Blog: http://nookworm-connectionsmore.blogspot.com/2013/07/this-old-couch.html 

July Surgery for James

James has been through surgery for a developing skin condition. He is recuperating quite well and will be back in shape soon. This Spiritual Guardian of Cabin Tranquillity bravely endures all weather constantly and, though the affliction wasn't life threatening or extremely severe, the surgery should bring him back to his old self and he may return to fancy attire shortly.

 Click to view larger

While his skin is healing and he's aging as nature intended, he keeps watch over the growing sedum, hosta and ferns surrounding the cabin.

This Old Couch

The Porch Couch

The old piece of furniture has a history and I'd like to review it here today. This metal contraption once belonged to my husband's mother and originated some place in Ohio. When the family relocated to Summit, NJ, it was moved there.  When the family later moved to Morris Plains, NJ. it went along to be placed on the front porch. This was when I first saw it. This is when I first sat on it with my wonderful new mother-in-law and several of our 6 kids in 1961. I was made to understand that it was "special."  When my mother-in-law was aged and her eldest son convinced her to move - AGAIN! - to Michigan nearer to his family, the old metal couch was given to us. We had no place for it in Ironia, NJ, but we knew just the right place for it to settle in. Yes, it went to Cabin Tranquillity, my parents' summer log cabin and lake retreat in Pennsylvania. The year was around 1965.  The porch on the cabin was just right for a swing couch to be placed for relaxing views of the lake and for an extra place to sleep. 

I was married previously to a fellow from Cedar Knolls, NJ. His parents were friends of my parents and they, too, had a place at the lake in Pennsylvania just down the dirt road from my parent's cabin. His mother did upholstery and sewed new covers to put on the new foam seat and back of the porch couch. My mother had picked out the fabric. It was chosen to be durable, and needed to be of material that would dry quickly because of wet bathing suits with kids inside them who would soak the covers. The probable spills of soda and picnic foods were considered as well. She wanted a tough and washable fabric, not plastic; plastic sticks to bare legs. Those hand-made covers and the innards have lasted for over 45 years! 

We moved into the seasoned cabin in 1997 and soon after we bought a new weather coverup for the couch that would withstand the winter months better than the old flimsy plastic one. That coverup is still used and in good shape after 16 years! It goes on every autumn and is taken off every spring. BUT...the cushion upholstery is shot! In addition, the springs had been wired to the frame by my husband after the original clips rusted about eight years ago. They were SAGGY!

Yes, I know the seat cushion is on backwards, and that is because the front is VERY worn!

Today he had a piece of plywood cut to fit just right over the springs and to rest on the frame. Yea! Now to have new cushions made. I have a friend who does upholstery and she is talented and reasonable. Lucky me, eh?

By the way, my dad painted the metal framework many years ago and it is still fairly presentable, so we'll leave its character as is. After much research to determine its actual age I simply cannot find another like it on the internet. I am so happy to have a "one-of-a kind" survivor of comfortable porch sitting and swinging! 

To be continued.... after new cushions are made.

I am reminded of a song published by Stuart Hamblin in 1954 and made popular by Rosemary Clooney about an old house, so I snatched and changed some words to fit my couch:

This ole couch once knew its children

This ole couch once knew its life

This ole couch was home and comfort

As it fought the storms of life

This old couch once rang with laughter

This old couch heard many shouts

This ole couch is a-gettin' shaky

This ole couch is a-gettin' old

This ole couch lets in the rain

This ole couch lets in the cold

This ole couch's not afraid of thunder

This ole couch's not afraid of storms

This ole couch just groans and trembles

When the night wind flings its arms

This ole couch is gettin' feeble

This old couch is needin' paint

And.... Just like it - we're tuckered out!

Remembering Lakewood Campground

Prologue.....

To me, verbal reminisces are not enough. After hearing about their past ventures I have been trying for a couple of years to have my beach friends document the experiences of their past 50+ years of camping, especially at Lakewood Campground in Myrtle Beach, SC where we have enjoyed ourselves for 24 years. This lovely couple have not been able to travel there for the past two years and we all miss them very much. 

I cannot tell you how excited I was to receive a three page letter from "Betty Jo" recently and she even enclosed an old  camper's receipt from 1962! I dug in my photos and came up with two to go with this blog. If I had thought ahead, I most likely could have asked her to send some of hers for me to scan and return, and she would have, but the letter she sent covered just what I requested and I'm happy to share it. 

I have typed her letter here, as it was handwritten. GMR

Remembering Lakewood Campground

Written by Betty W. Magee

When my husband Morris and I were married in 1950 in Roanoke, Virginia, we went camping with my parents, Lelia and Norwood Wharton. They had a station wagon that they slept in and we slept on cots beside the station wagon with a canopy over us. 

In Virginia we would camp on Shenandoah River and Craigs Creek where we fished. We camped at the Peaks of Otter on the Blue Ridge Parkway.

We would camp at the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We would go to Hollywood, Florida where my uncle lived and fish in the canals there. We drove to Canada in 1957. My dad died that year and my mom in 1959.

Morris and I would take two of my nephews, age 10 and 12, camping at the Peaks of Otter in Virginia and the Smokey Mountains in North Carolina. They enjoyed seeing the bears and hiking the mountains.

Morris and I went to Lakewood Campground in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina when they first opened. After entering, there was a small trailer and a young woman taking the money for camping, which was $1.00 for the night. 

The roads were just sand. People were always getting their vehicles stuck at their campsite and other campers would help them get out.

Our first camping trip there we were on a site, now No. 1209, and had a pup tent. We left to drive and get something that was not in campground. We left the flap up on the door of tent as the weather looked good when we left. Some campers that we didn't know came over and put the flap down when a rain storm came. We really appreciated that.

We've found that campers are the nicest people and we've made a lot of friends camping at Lakewood for over fifty years.

One time when we went down, we thought it would be warm the whole time but turned cold. We went into town to find a jacket but the stores only had T-shirts and swimwear. We knew next time to take warm clothes too.

There was a path from Lakewood into the woods that led to a lake. A dog was tied near the lake and would bark when someone went down the path. On the north side was all wooded area and had several horses that ran loose in the woods. One day a man camper went to get water out of a spigot and a Copperhead snake was on the spigot.

Going down to Myrtle Beach it was a 2 lane road, Rt. 501 from Conway, South Carolina to the campground. We would always go to Murrells Inlet for a seafood supper.

After camping near entrance at first, we gradually moved closer to ocean. We liked it better on sites close to inlet so we didn't have to walk very far and we could fish in the surf. We had camping trailers after a few times in tents.

When we first started surf fishing, a nice man told us to get little mullet and fillet them and use half on one hook. We did that and caught a lot of fish. Morris bought a throw net and caught our bait instead of having to buy it.

Several times we would be on the beach and army troops would come to shore on boats and run up into woods. It would take place South and North of the campground. Other times a soldier would get out of boat into the water and a helicopter would pull him up into helicopter as a practice of rescue. A boat would pull a target behind it and another boat would shoot at the target, They left shell casings out in the water and when they came back in the afternoon to pick them up, someone from campground had swam out and got one and brought it back to campground. The army men went to every campsite looking for the shell casing.

One evening the sharks were almost beaching themselves at the inlet trying to catch fish.

We enjoyed seeing the Sandpipers, Terns, Sea Gulls, Great Blue Herons and Egrets. The white Ibises would walk down the road beside the campsite eating something out of the ground, They were so pretty. Swans would fly from campground out over ocean then fly back. A Bald Eagle would sit on top of a tree at the laundry. You would see Dolphins swimming out in ocean very often. We saw Pelicans flying over ocean and Osprey diving in ocean for fish.

Several years ago there were a lot of stray cats in campground, If you left anything edible outside they would get it. One evening we had some fish bait out on a table that was screened in and a cat tore the net screening to get to the bait. Many years later you didn't see the stray cats.

Lakewood would have an ice cream social and you could have ice cream for $1.00. You had to bring your own bowl.

In September Mr. Perry would have a fish fry for all the employees. When gasoline was scarce the campground put in a big tank and a gas pump and sold gasoline to campers. We could fill up there before going back to Roanoke.

A flock of Viceroy Butterflies would fly south over the sand next to the ocean. They look a lot like Monarch butterflies. 

One year after a bad storm had washed things on the beach we got some nice driftwood and a piece of coral. We have it in our backyard. The birds enjoy standing on it. One looks like a shark nose and is about 3 feet tall. We've found over a quart of sharks' teeth through the years.

For health reasons we haven't been able to go to Lakewood in 2011 and 2012 but we have good memories of camping there for so many years and the wonderful friends we looked forward to seeing every year.

1962 Receipt-Front and Back

 September 21, 2009

2008 Red Drum Fish

Look Alikes

My 54 year old son visited last week and the minute he came in the  door he exclaimed, "You look just like Grandma!" I hadn't seen him in  person for a couple of years, you see. I replied, "Thank you! that is  one of the best complements I've had in a long time." He just looked  at me! 

My 56 year old daughter, who I don't see in person much also wrote me that "You all look so old!" when I sent her a photo of us with a friend from Colorado who was visiting us here. 
He used to be her boyfriend, and he lived with us  for about a year. I replied, "We ARE old!"

Here is why...... We ALL have those JOWLS!!!!!

 My Great Grandmother

My Grandmother

 My Mother

Me

My Eldest Daughter 

How Come?

How Come?

Why did I not pay attention, really really close attention, to the actions and movements of my parents as they aged? How come? I just took it for granted that they would slow down so I didn't notice their small complaints and obvious discomforts in their late years thinking I might ever have similar ones. How come?

I would go to visit them often (130 miles from my home) and would be annoyed at their slowness, especially in the mornings, when I stayed overnight. I'm a morning person and am up and out of bed by 7:00 am, sometimes even at 
6:30 am. I would try to keep the morning news on the TV at low volume. I hoped that I didn't have to flush the toilet before they awoke. I was even hesitant to start the coffee because I thought the aroma would wake them. There is nothing like tippeetoeing around the house, waiting..... waiting..... to hear a stir coming from their bedrooms. 

After a breakfast that seemed to take forever, they would take off in their own directions to do whatever they did before being ready to face the world. Even an offer of assistance was rejected, as they had their "own ways" and NOW I UNDERSTAND!

The age of these wonderful and incredible parents, of whom I write of here, was late 80's. Hey! I'm almost there.

Mother always had to push the cart when we went to the market. Now I know why. Their canes were stored in a corner by the back door, readily handy for a venture outdoors. Their telephone ringer was turned off at bedtime so it couldn't possibly disturb their sleep. I do that too. Eyeglasses had their special places to be sure they could be found, tissues were handy throughout the rooms, and medicines were lined up in specially arranged rows for mistake-free distribution.

Many times I was asked to reach down under the countertops and retrieve items from the cupboards there. I also opened and transferred contents from jars and bottles to containers for easier access. Many items waited for my opening skills. THEN they could be consumed.

I am so glad that the loss of their mental ability wasn't a concern. Mother found volunteer work at the library and Pop had an older neighbor who came to "chew the fat" on a regular basis. Social activities were ongoing after they didn't leave their home as often as before. They seemed to be happy and quite independent, so I never saw their struggles and discomforts. How come?

 I guess the increased frailty of their bodies didn't hit me like it should have. They didn't say - I didn't ask. Now, I find we're doing the same thing! We don't let our children or grandchildren know much about the aging process in our own lives. It's a journey I don't want to share either. Will they be saying, "How Come?"

 1984

 August 12, 1994

August 12, 1999 65th Anniversary

He is 92, She is 84.