Ten years ago I wrote about a happening when I was age 15. I was a very mean girl on an occasion and still remember how ashamed I have been for all these years and still am. I have tried to never be a bully again - ever.
This is a "copy and paste" of my story from January 18, 2011. I just came across it on my old computer and it is a good reminder.
Geraldine,The "Once Upon a Time" Bully
I hear those awful reports of kids bullying other kids in school. I think it has been done for many years, but today's kids are the WORST! Of that, I'm sure. It doesn't excuse what I did but my one time bully act, was mild. Well, I think so, but my conscience tells me it was a nasty thing to do. I regret it.
The incident happened in the 7th grade at a Junior High School. A new girl arrived and joined my class. She was pretty in an unusual way. She was intelligent, athletic, and apparently came from a well-off family due to her clothing. Angora sweaters! Tartan pleated skirts! Real wool crew socks and shiny saddle shoes! The minute I saw her I felt a threat and was on guard. I envied her hair. It was a lovely shade of blonde, thick, and worst of all - she had a perfect and exceptionally outstanding widow's peak! Her eyes were sloe shaped, and she didn't wear any makeup. Who was this girl?
Her name was Lucretia. As time went on, she buddied up with others who had the best homes, clothes and things.
After lunch, it was the habit of all students to leave the building and participate in outdoor activities such as jumping rope, playing kickball and trotting around the field track. I usually could be found on the track.
In that time many of us started to wear skirts that had several rows of elastic stitching as waistbands. Apparently, in an effort to fit in with my group of friends, or to mock us, the "clicky" bunch of girls started wearing the same type of skirts.
I, to this day, have no idea of what actually came into me, but when Lucretia was jogging on the field track, right in front of me, I caught up to her and YANKED her copycat skirt down to her ankles. She fell into the dirt, picked herself up, pulled her skirt up and carried on.
In a year or two, her family moved away and I never saw or heard from her again.
I am not naturally a mean person, but I do remember that this felt good and it is all I remember of what happened that day. Was I punished? ???? Was I ostracized? ??? Did I lose friends? ??? The mind is a strange thing. What I DO know is that my awful act of attacking a classmate who never did a thing to me, has remained a guilty transgression in my memory bank for over 60 years.
Dear Lucretia with the widow's peak, I'm sorry, truly sorry.
A very nice and honest read! I think there are times we all remember some thing we might not be proud of. A kid I picked on and felt bad about we later became friends. He had challenges and might have been autistic. Kids can be real.mean and not understand why some folks might be the way they are...Well..for his 40th birthday he had no firends on the area to celebrate with and he called me up...and we went to a sea food place and ate like kings! It was the best dinner ever that made it all ok and I was sure glad I was able to make his birthday special..I should see what he's up to now the pandemic is over..he should be 42 by now.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we have to face the monster that lives within ourselves and squash it!
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to think of something I did in the past, but can't offhand. I'm sure there's something 'cause I am no angel.
ReplyDeleteYour honest feeling of remorse is understandable.
As cute as you were, It's a wonder someone didn't jerk your skirt down. :~) Seventh grade, did you say? One can't be held responsible for their actions at that age.
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