Helpers

Stepping down from my little soapbox and back to my life's challenges. I do know how fortunate I am to have helpers at this time of my life. The thing that is hard for me is to ask for help. I have always been able to stand on my own two feet with the help that was always here. Times are different. People have asked me if I'm lonely. No, I'm not lonely, I'm just a bit frustrated.  It is the small stuff that gets to me like changing a light bulb or reaching for something and forgetting that I cannot reach now - at least not with my right arm. 

Another issue came last Thursday and it is really a rough one. I have a young woman new neighbor (around mid 40's) who picks up my laundry every two weeks and is thorough and dependable. She brings it back the next day and goes home. She works from home. Due to Covid issues, we have yet to sit down and have a real conversation. Coincidentally her parents are the folks who bought my car. They have an Alpaca Farm fairly nearby but I never met them. All I know is that their daughter and her husband are really pleasant neighbors and help me with my laundry. This week she called and told me her father just died and she wouldn't be able to pick up this week, but could maybe do it on Sunday. My immediate reaction was sad shock, with no hugs, no shared tears to give her some comfort. I told her I would get someone to fill in. 

The first person I called was my friend who does my grocery shopping and takes me with her when the weather is good. Well... both she and her husband have colds so that option was out. Then I remembered that the fellow who does my yard, summer and winter, has a wife who has often commented that I should call her if I need something. Now get this! This couple are both local school teachers and have a blended family of five teenagers! I did call. He picked it up today. Their daughter is having friends over (I think he said 16 of them!) to celebrate her 16th birthday tonight. It's an overnighter! YET...his wife is going to do my laundry!!!

My daughter is another of my helpers and takes me to appointments and brings me home-cooked dishes. She has her family and physical disabilities too. I try to not ask her for much. 

I feel soooooooo guilty. Soooooooo selfish. I have no problem sharing and giving but sure do have a big-time complication when it comes to receiving. Yes, I'm thankful but it is very hard to accept such kindness. It bothers me and makes me feel like a beggar. 

I know, I know...with all that is going on in the world today this is not important, but to me it is. It has created stress and anxiety. I have to get over it and just be very thankful for my helpers. Everyone needs helpers. 

Good Ole' Days! Laundromat washed, I dried!

Impact

My friend wondered why I took the picture of the abandoned work gloves on the cellar floor. I took it because it expressed bleak turbulence. This is what I felt. It struck me hard. The husband left his work gloves behind as well as his mind. Poor woman. 

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Communication Situation

Communication Situation

I'm writing about this to perhaps lighten or somehow ease thoughts of everyone regarding the awful pain and suffering so many folks are experiencing because of the horrible events that have happened this week. My thinking is that maybe your attention will be diverted for just a little bit and maybe my silly situational story will move your thoughts to a better place for a moment.

Usually, my husband and I travel about 30 miles about every two weeks to grocery shop. It's important to us that we also pick up our preferred soda and Walmart is the only place that sells it.

For about four times last year and then again last week when we went,  they were out of the soda - completely out. I made the mistake of not calling first to ensure that a supply existed.

This time I called first and the beverage manager said there was plenty on the shelves but she would also hold a case for me. When I asked how many were in a case she didn't know, but thought there was six. She asked when we were coming and I told her we'd be there in about an hour.

We arrived at the store, and went our usual ways - me with my cart to shop for groceries, he with his cart to shop for soda and other sundry items. The usual routine is for us to meet at the checkout nearest the door we entered. Whoever if finished first, just waits, sometimes by sitting on the provided bench.

He was finished first and after I checked out and we started to exit I noticed that his cart didn't hold very many bottles of soda so I asked him if there were more on the shelf. His reply was that the ones we buy were gone and there was no one to check on the case that was being held so he just checked out. My answer was that I'd go to Customer Relations and get someone to bring my case to me there. 

BIG Mistake: I could have suggested that he take his cart to the car, unload and then come back in because I'd stay in the Customer Relations area. I didn't suggest it. I assumed that is what he would do. 

SECOND BIG Mistake: Never assume.

The Customer Relations Manager contacted the person to whom I spoke on the phone that morning and she came to the area. She told me she'd be back with the soda for me and I asked her if there was more than one case available, would she bring back two and she said she would. I sat down and waited and waited. Finally she showed up and was looking like a wild woman. She told me she had brought back two cases on a gurney, left the gurney for just a moment to help another customer and when she returned the cases of soda had disappeared. She wondered if I had it. She couldn't believe someone had taken them right off her cart! WHAT? I just told her to never mind, I had waited long enough and was going home. She marched out of the area where I was waiting in search of who took her soda. I think you know what is coming............

As I was heading for the exit, I passed the checkout near the door and THERE HE WAS! CHECKING OUT TWO CASES OF SODA. All of this time, I thought he was waiting for me either by the door or by the car. Then....the woman who had brought it up from the back area spotted him and confronted him. She had NO idea he was a member of my family. I high-tailed it outta there!!!

I stood in the parking lot and he finally arrived. When he unlocked the door, I entered and just sat there. After unloading and taking the carts to the proper area, he entered the car and gave me heck for not helping him unload! (I usually do.) My mouth was sealed - TIGHT! I was so angry and so humiliated and so embarrassed that I was afraid of myself. I really wanted to rip him up and down with my words of contempt - but couldn't. 

All the way home I worked at getting myself under control and after arriving, helped unload and then put it all away, but still kept from saying anything about the incident or my feelings. It's my way to hold things in and I must say I did well, knowing I would cause more trouble. I'm usually a patient person and not angered easily, and he is impatient and flares up very easily. You know what I mean - oil and water. After 52 years, we haven't "killed" each other, so I guess this communication situation will prevail for a few more. 

I'm still waiting for an apology but those are rare. I truly believe that he doesn't even realize that he made a fool of himself, a fool of the store employee and embarrassed and humiliated me.  I'll get over it. In a while......

There! Did I make you forget real pain and suffering, even for a minute?